Yesterday I was at my niece's bridal shower and my "crowd" personality took over. While I'm generally OK one-on-one or with small groups of people I know, I'm often uncomfortable at social functions, even with friends and family. I have a tendency to turn into the blob in the corner who seems intrigued by the wallpaper. I avoid people, not because I'm intentionally snubbing them, but rather because it is easier for me not to interact with people. When engaged in conversation, I sometimes supply short answers to questions and do not actively seek out people to converse with. It's weird because I never have had this problem at any job I've held. At work, I'm able to communicate effectively. You probably know someone just like me.
This is the result of what I find are common traits of introverted people, particularly extremely creative types of the artistic temperament. These three characteristics are:
- Social Anxiety: Introverted people often function best doing things which don't involve others, so having to deal with things like parties can cause great anxiety.
- Depression: With me, is an underlying feeling of meloncholy, even when laughing. This is an innate character trait, not just a fleeting emotion.
- Inability to converse in small talk: Introverted creatives dwell on different ideas and it is difficult to focus on things that others may be interested in. When we do speak, we are often misunderstood by people who are not of like mind.
I guess I'm writing this because for years I've tried to overcome my "negative" personality traits with little success. So instead of continuing to struggle, I'm going to give in to myself. The next time I turn you down for a social event, it's not about you. I simply feel better when I'm alone creating.
Hi Ginny,
ReplyDeleteI know just how you feel. I was extreemly withdrawn in high school and several years after. I was an extreme case, when my husband met me he said I was so quiet her thought I was autistic. I was always super self conscious and because I was a pretty girl I hated the attention I got, especially from men.
I knew I didn't want to be this way and I forced myself to go into modeling where it helped immensely by being in front of the public. I discovered that people actually liked me.
I did get over it, maybe because I discovered that I was unique and I had my own special gifts. I discovered I was an artist, in my late 20s. I had always felt that if I had been guided in the art direction early in school I might have been happier in my young adult life.
I am very outgoing now, although I do tend to want to be a home body and still have to push my self to get out but I am not at all afraid of people, in a crowd or event.
I don't know how old you are but just be who you are and that is the best anyone can ask.
Marlena
Thanks for your insight, Marlena. Yes, we can try to overcome it by facing our fear and pushing ourselves to go beyond the fear. I've always done things to overcome my problems and have succeeded on many levels.
ReplyDeleteI can be extremely outgoing but this is not a natural state for me. I prefer quiet and serenity over loud places, even if it is fun. Being hearing impaired is part of the issue because the background noise often outweighs any conversation I am having.
I guess what I'm really to say is why go to something that you are not going to enjoy? If someone asks me to a sports event, I will usually turn them down, as I'm not into sports. Why then should I go to any other event if I know I won't enjoy it?