Yesterday I was at my niece's bridal shower and my "crowd" personality took over. While I'm generally OK one-on-one or with small groups of people I know, I'm often uncomfortable at social functions, even with friends and family. I have a tendency to turn into the blob in the corner who seems intrigued by the wallpaper. I avoid people, not because I'm intentionally snubbing them, but rather because it is easier for me not to interact with people. When engaged in conversation, I sometimes supply short answers to questions and do not actively seek out people to converse with. It's weird because I never have had this problem at any job I've held. At work, I'm able to communicate effectively. You probably know someone just like me.
This is the result of what I find are common traits of introverted people, particularly extremely creative types of the artistic temperament. These three characteristics are:
- Social Anxiety: Introverted people often function best doing things which don't involve others, so having to deal with things like parties can cause great anxiety.
- Depression: With me, is an underlying feeling of meloncholy, even when laughing. This is an innate character trait, not just a fleeting emotion.
- Inability to converse in small talk: Introverted creatives dwell on different ideas and it is difficult to focus on things that others may be interested in. When we do speak, we are often misunderstood by people who are not of like mind.
I guess I'm writing this because for years I've tried to overcome my "negative" personality traits with little success. So instead of continuing to struggle, I'm going to give in to myself. The next time I turn you down for a social event, it's not about you. I simply feel better when I'm alone creating.